kiki_miserychic

This is relevant to my day.

Yay! I have my laptop back and completely fixed. I'm starting on my Premiere for VVC because if I don't start now, it won't be done for the deadline. I should start my vid for Club Vivid soon too.

My teaching postition is eating away the rest of my life. I need to stop bringing baggage from school home. Literally and figuratively. If I don't, I'll probably burn out by the end of the year.

I choose to live in a happy world where I pretend that everyone loves me. So I love the Fanvid Love Meme!

I'm gearing up to do my holiday cards, so drop me your address.

I'm in the process of graduating with my Bachelor's degree. Officially, I'm done the 12th. Pending that I have a job lined up too. It's not 100% because I haven't signed any papers, but it's looking good.

I read Vampire Politics by: Lisa Nakamura / University of Illinois, Laurie Beth Clark / University of Wisconsin, and Michael Peterson / University of Wisconsin, which was a very interesting analysis for True Blood.

I watched Geoff McFetridge's Do Lecture last night. Basically, take what he said, apply it to vidding, and you have some of my current thoughts.

I've been LOL-ing and enjoying UCB's Noteworthy performing Lady Gaga's "Poker Face"


The Office's Creed Bratton's "Rubber Tree"

National Organization for Marriage is throwing “Rhode Island’s First Annual” Celebrate Marriage & Family Day this coming Sunday 16th...

"The highlight of the Sunday afternoon event will be an opportunity for married couples to renew their vows together at a beautiful waterfront setting. This is a great opportunity to take a stand for marriage as it was created: between a man and a woman. Our goal is to esteem marriage to its proper place in society and make a statement that Rhode Islanders believe strongly in this cherished institution."

One of the sponsors of the event is Tim Horton's. Why is TIM Freaking HORTON'S is supporting something like this?

The universe doesn't want me to go to VVC. I'm convinced of this. I'm nearly broke from all the hospital bills I've been getting. My dad said that the insurance company is going to pay me back for everything once the claim is settled, but in the meantime I have no money. I'm getting worried because I got three more bills in the mail this week. I thought I'd finished getting billed, but there are still more coming. It makes my head want to explode. I've talked to so many people at the hospital, in the billing department, and so on. They did something to cut my bills down, but it's still so much. I'm starting to think I'm not on my dad's second insurance and he's stalling me. The primary insurance paid out, but the second one that he got just in case hasn't. I keep asking my dad about it, but he never wants to talk and dances around it, which makes me think I'm screwed. I've been making my plans for Chicago and VVC, but it's feeling financially irresponsible to go on a trip when I'm not sure I'll have the money. But I didn't get to go last year and I really want to go. I'll face reality next week. If the insurance company pays out, then I'll get to go, but I can't go if I'm broke. Would sacrificing a goat help?

I took my fourth and hopefully last teacher licensure and certification exam, PRAXIS, Saturday. I think I did well. I studied my face off, but after having taken the test, I'd have performed the same without studying. I thought I'd have trouble answering 60 multiple choice questions in an hour, but I finished in 30 minutes. I used the last half to reread, double check, think over, and such. I was unsure of 6 questions in the end, but I'm fairly confident I passed. I worry and worry over things like that and it turns out fine. I thought I'd failed my second one for sure because it was the day after I'd gotten out of the hospital and I got a 196 out of 200.

I have accomplished a life goal this week. I made someone pee their pants laughing! For posterity I have transcribed the conversation. It happened at work where T is a male my age, 20s, and D is a female in her mid-40s.

T: One of my classes this week was about breastfeeding and I'm the only guy in the class, so it's everyone talking about their experiences and I had nothing to add. The rest of them were talking about babies that wouldn't let go and the logistics of breastfeeding in public.

Me: I seriously doubt you've ever breastfed a baby. You used to be a baby, but I hope you don't remember the breastfeeding part.

D: Nothing is the same after having a baby. Nothing.

Me: I saw my stepsister's stuff when she was having her niece.

T: Her niece? Is that possible?

Me: I meant having my niece, which is her daughter.

T: That makes more sense.

Me: It could happen. The only way I'd be pregnant is if I was a surrogate.

T: What do you mean?

Me: My aunt and uncle can't carry children to term, so they could rent my uterus out for 9 months if they wanted.

D: Really?

Me: Yeah, they've been trying for nearly a decade. I'd do it if they asked. It'd just be awkward when people would ask and I'd have to say it was my uncle's baby.

[D and T laugh so hard that D pees pants and has to rush to the bathroom.]

SUCCESS!

I was shopping last week when someone from high school kept staring at me and squinting. I loath seeing most people from high school to the point of lying about who am. It's stupid and childish, but it works. So the girl is squinting at me like she's trying to figure out who I am or something, so I casually said hey. Her repsonse was "I thought you were dead!" Turns out some rumor has been going around that I died when I was in the hospital. I have no idea where, who, or how it started, but she heard from someone who said that someone found out I died in December. I should have kept ignoring her.

It's been a while since I've posted recs. I finally have my laptop back and fully functioning after a month of it not working properly. Most of the time was finding someone that could figure out what was wrong with it and waiting on parts.

VID RECS:
buffyann's La marée haute (Lost) - Perfect emotional song choice and clip choice. Desmond is a character that feels and projects emotions, which are captured very well. I always felt like Desmond was 5 minutes from breaking down completely in so many of his scenes. He grabs so desperately to things, while his storyline is so fractured. The vid does a stellar job of pulling him together enough to hold the viewer while he falls apart and tries to make the pieces fit. The barely contained energy is measured out with the cuts and clip choices. It's the emotion that carries the vid when the storylines might not. He's everywhere and nowhere at the same time, but it's Penny that tethers him.

talitha78's "White" & Nerdy (Psych) - I'm continually in awe of the quirky motion and movement, as well as the lyric interpretations. I love how witty the concept is and how there's different levels of interpretation.

tearful_eye's Day Carry Night (Criminal Minds) - The disorientation is beautifully done with the editing to the piano notes and the additional movements like a carosel when you want to get off.

Another excellent report from the doctor. She said I'll be done in the beginning of March for sure. The wound looks so frakking good. It's only 1.3x.7cm and .5cm deep, which is amazing. When I first looked it was like 4x5cm and 4cm deep, which looked like it would NEVER heal.

I'm allowed to drive again. Ten minutes at a time, which means I'm pretty much limited to my pathetic town. Oh the joy of being able to... go to Subway? Post Office? Yeah, my town is lame. We have a McCafe now.

I'm even going back to work this week. I don't miss working because my job is sucktastic sometimes, but I miss a couple of people I work with. I've probably forgotten how to do everything because it's not like I was that great at it to begin with.

I had another doctor's appointment. She said I did a lot of healing this week and it's looking great. It's to the point now where I won't have to have skin graphs. Last week they mentioned that I might have needed it to close up the skin over the muscles at the bottom of the wound because it was tunneling. I asked about physical therapy because they mentioned it last week, but the doctor said it's difficult to tell right now because I still have a ways to go before we can discuss it. That pretty much ends the good part. There's a secondary wound on the back of my thigh now. It's not the exactly the same as the first; it doesn't look the same, but it hurts the same. They put antibiotics on it and a dressing, telling me to call if it got worse. The whole thing has me freaks out again. They didn't do any tests or take a sample, so it can't be that bad. I'm just freaking out because that's been my general state of being for the last month. Freaking out and terrified of dying some awful death.

Most of the doctor's at the hospital thought it was an insect bite, while some thought it was a puncture from a scrape or something else, but there was never a conclusive answer. It wasn't the original wound that was the reason it was so serious. The infection was the major thing. The MRSA was what caused the whole thing. I flipped my shit when I came home and had everything cleaned from bleaching my clothes, sending stuff to the dry cleaners, sanitizing everything, and everything, so an insect bite is unlikely if it's happening again. I would have sprayed a thin layer of Purell all over the house if it was possible.

I'm feeling really screwed up, more so than usual. Libby brought up that I haven't let many people touch me at all. Before all this I was weird about people touching me anyways. If I'm not expecting to be touched, I flinch. Libby said I've become every weirder about it. One of my friends made a comment about it a few years ago because I would shrug his arm off my shoulder and he took it personally until he finally asked me about it and I didn't even realize I did it. Lately I only let the nurses and doctor touch me and I snap at my family when they try to hug me or anything. For a few days in the hospital I was told not to touch anyone because they weren't sure what I had and they thought it might be contagious. I guess I took that a bit far, even after they said I was cleared. I haven't voluntarily touched someone else in a month. I haven't had anyone over to the house and I barely talk to my friends on the phone. I'm only really talking to Amanda and Cassey. I made plans to go to Amanda's and watch a movie, but now there's a second wound and the doctor said it would be best if I stayed home until everything was checked out. I've forgotten what some of my friends look like. I'm pretty sure whatever I had going on with J. is over because I didn't tell him I was in the hospital and he found out from someone else. He sent me a bitchy text message saying that he never felt close to me emotionally. In that whole string of texts he never once asked me if I was ok. He knew I was still in the hospital, but he thought it was a good idea to have a text argument with me. He knew how I was before we got together and I don't feel to bad about because he has another girlfriend. When I'm honest with myself, I didn't call him and I didn't even think about it, which says something. I don't miss him much either. I miss other people way more.

So now that I've puked my emotional guts out have some VID RECS:
charmax's It's Not Over Yet (Merlin) - Amazing construction and editing of motion with skilled implementation of symbols.

lsketch42's Crackdance (Supernatural) - A cute and fun vid that is extremely rewatchable.

obsessive24's Red (Merlin) - The imagery and feeling of predestination is startling with the tone of the vid and the tension.

talitha78's Creator (Chuck) - With so few Sarah Walker vids, this one says something interesting with the footage using the Intersect imagery and slight glimpses into her internal emotions.

tearful_eye's Dido's Lament (Stargate SG-1) - Sadly beautiful editing with swaying motion, like a quietly hard lullaby.