some people should be sterlized
Dec. 19th, 2005 11:36 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kiki_miserychicToday was a totally pointless day that began at 7 in the morning because last night Rick, my dad, called. He said he messed up his life and whatnot and he wanted to talk about it. I agreed to go to the mall with him today because he wanted to get me stuff for Christmas, but he said we’d mostly be talking because he wanted to explain what was going on.
I’d left him a bunch of messages a few months back when I needed him to sign my FAFSA. I gave up trying because I realized none of it matters. He said that he didn’t get any of them until last week because they had a second answering machine that he didn’t know about (yeah, suuurre).
It’s funny how I get to the point where I feel like I’m fine not having any contact with either of my parents or family, then they decide they want to and I don’t say no. Another week and the paperwork to have them declared estranged would have went through so I could get money from the government for college and in a few months I’m going to be kicking myself for not doing it. I know what’s going to happen. I always know. Yet I still let it happen because I don’t want to look back in a few years and feel guilty because someone slits their wrists into the Christmas ham.
Rick picked me and we didn’t even talk about anything important. I couldn’t think of anything I wanted for Christmas because anything I wanted I asked for already and that wasn’t much to begin with (a computer program and a cute purse I liked). I thought the whole point was to talk about what was going on, but we didn’t. It was all stupid and unimportant crap. We never talk and when we do, it’s like two different conversations. There’s so many things I want to ask, but when it comes right down to it, there’s nothing to say and there’s no point.
The funniest part of it is that earlier this week Becky, my mom, called and talked to Libby. Becky agreed to come over and fill out the FAFSA with me online and wanted to talk about things. Even though they have no contact with each and would kill each other if they were in the same room together, they both write me off and have epiphanies in the same cycles. The best part is that this morning I was with Rick and tonight Becky’s coming over. I should have shot myself in the foot and been done with it.
I’d left him a bunch of messages a few months back when I needed him to sign my FAFSA. I gave up trying because I realized none of it matters. He said that he didn’t get any of them until last week because they had a second answering machine that he didn’t know about (yeah, suuurre).
It’s funny how I get to the point where I feel like I’m fine not having any contact with either of my parents or family, then they decide they want to and I don’t say no. Another week and the paperwork to have them declared estranged would have went through so I could get money from the government for college and in a few months I’m going to be kicking myself for not doing it. I know what’s going to happen. I always know. Yet I still let it happen because I don’t want to look back in a few years and feel guilty because someone slits their wrists into the Christmas ham.
Rick picked me and we didn’t even talk about anything important. I couldn’t think of anything I wanted for Christmas because anything I wanted I asked for already and that wasn’t much to begin with (a computer program and a cute purse I liked). I thought the whole point was to talk about what was going on, but we didn’t. It was all stupid and unimportant crap. We never talk and when we do, it’s like two different conversations. There’s so many things I want to ask, but when it comes right down to it, there’s nothing to say and there’s no point.
The funniest part of it is that earlier this week Becky, my mom, called and talked to Libby. Becky agreed to come over and fill out the FAFSA with me online and wanted to talk about things. Even though they have no contact with each and would kill each other if they were in the same room together, they both write me off and have epiphanies in the same cycles. The best part is that this morning I was with Rick and tonight Becky’s coming over. I should have shot myself in the foot and been done with it.
