Dumbest Person Alive

Today has proven that I should be crowned The Dumbest Person Alive.

I had what I thought was a health screening for work, so I fasted until my appointment because they were taking blood. Got to the appointment and realized it was just meeting with someone about my insurance plan. Doctor is a different day. I'd had no coffee so I couldn't fully comprehend everything.

Went shopping and tried to pay with my Target credit card in Charming Charlie's. Swiped it twice before the clerk noticed.

Dropped my debit card in the Starbucks drive thru window and had to ninja myself out of the door to pick it up. Didn't put my car in park and nearly ran myself over.

Went in Target and tried to pay with my Kohls credit card. Honestly, I don't even know what what was wrong with me at this point. The entire store is red, how did I not pick the right card?

Got my mail and realized that my car payment was due today. Made the payment over the phone, but the robot voice lady said it was overdue because it was made after 5pm. I didn't know that was a thing, so I was 2 hours late.

Knocked over a lamp and my downstairs neighbor came up to make sure I was ok. She said she was impressed that I hadn't turned the air on with it being so hot. I said that the windows were too small for a unit. She explained that we both had central air and showed me the thingy on the thermostat that flips from heat to cool and off.

ETA ...and I just got my period, so now I'm sure that god hates me.

I'm going to bed before I do anything else stupid.

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